i'm not sure why i only want to communicate my thoughts when pain and heartache have overrun my emotions. does not joy bring a person to pick up a pen and record it for historical purposes? why do i have no interest in remembering the happiest times of my life, but when everything falls apart, nothing short of hell itself could rip the pen from my hands.

technology has lost all of its charm to me, so i'm surprised to find myself here right now. i think it's just because i can't sleep. thoughts pour into my head like volumes of incoherent books, drawing me to reach up to the ceiling with my hands as if to say, "i surrender, just let me go."

It's empty in the valley of your heart
The sun it rises slowly as you walk
Away from all the fears and all the
faults you've left behind

The harvest left no food for you to eat
You cannibal, you meat-eater you see
But i have seen the same I know the
shame in your defeat

But I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck
And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again

Cause I have other things to fill my time
You take what is yours and I'll take mine
Now let me at the truth which will
refresh my broken mind

So tie me to a post and block my ears
I can see widows and orphans through
my tears
And know my call despite my faults and
despite my growing fears

So come out of your cave walking on
your hands
And see the world hanging upside down
You can understand dependence when
you know the maker's land

So make your siren's call
And sing all you want
I will not hear what you have to say

Cause I need freedom now
And I need to know how
To live my life as it's meant to be

And I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck
And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again