summerrreflections (up to this point)

yo. so i've been missing russia a lot the past couple of days. it all started with watching this movie with my dad. at one point this character comes home from france and she's in the airport with her family being happy. that made me think of coming home from russia, hence, making me miss russia. then i watched the movie UP with my friend kerry the other day. just the concept of "adventure" got me thinking about russia too. i dunno. The further away from siberia i get, the more dreamlike that time period seems to me in my mind. it's like i'm trying to hold on to this really heavy suitcase but my hands are full and all i have to hold on to it is my pinkie.

after work today, with russia and life twirling around my brain, i went for a run. i finally broke down that barrier i've been eyeing the past few weeks. i blasted through 2 miles and tore all the way to 6. it felt good to fiiiiinally find my rhythm. i've been looking for it ever since i started training and it hit me today around the 3 mile mark. and for the first time in a long time, my mind was completely blank during the entire run. i wasn't really thinking about anything except running which was ironically refreshing. its been quite some time since i ran without some burning question to ponder. overall, i feel at ease. about my running, and working, and school...

the summer came in like a lion but it has settled somewhere around a duck or some other water dwelling bird. just peaceful days filled with a slowpaced meandering walk/swim.

sunrises

its 5:43 a.m. and i am starting on the last paper of the semester. its due in 6 hours and 17 minutes. i've been in the library for 17 hours now. i just started on a lot of stuff today. totally should have been doing all of it the past couple weeks but my focus hasn't been there. but! no worries. i'm up against the wall again and i'm comin through. its what i do. i'm looking forward to seeing the sun come up from my perch on the 6th floor. never pulled an "all nighter" before, but there's no getting out of it tonight. feeling sufficiently jittery and exhausted and drained and ready....ready for this semester to end so i can properly drift into summer tyler. i'll be so happy once the summer arrives. it'll be my busiest summer ever with jobs at the Alzheimers Association and Salvation Army as well as two summer classes and an internship at a nursing home in July. take all that and combine it with crazy awesome trips to the creek with my people and trips to visit friends in Chattanooga and Indiana and 2 weddings and softball every friday and catching up on all my history books and you have the best summer of all time. i've been hypin it up to everybody for the past 2 months and i don't think it'll disappoint.
its 5:54 a.m. now. according to the weather channel website, the sun is supposed to rise in 19 minutes. its strange because its still pitch black outside. i'm not much of an expert on sunrises though, seeing as how i haven't been up for one in ages. but i'm looking forward to this one.
i'm feeling at peace. with life and with school and with God.
still breathing. therefore, still living.

my beard is itching.

monday morning

the sun pleasantly poured into my window around 9:00 this morning. i arose without objection for the first time in a long time, checked my "do" which is the determining factor in whether or not i take a shower, brewed a cup of coffee and meandered out to the porch in my bare feet. i propped my feet up on the pillar and leaned back in my chair, soaking up the morning sun. it was peaceful.

....................

i can't hold my eyes open.

i feel good about this

i know. two posts in one day. its a little intense.
but the situation calls for it. i just got back from my interview at sundale and it was amaaaaaaaaaazing. as i walked out of the nursing home, all i could say to myself is, "i have to work here." i was so comfortable that i stopped caring about my mismatched socks showing when i crossed my legs. thats usually my barometer for comfort.
i walked into the building with a fair amount of nerves, but still pretty solid. a very nice lady simeltaneously held the door for me and asked me if i needed help. i told her i had an appointment and she disappeared around the corner. moments later she returned with another woman who was apparently very happy because she was smiling very genuinely. she said to me, "Mr. Parnell, welcome." first of all, can i say that it was awesome being called mr. parnell. as a young person today i have experienced that very rarely. she led me to an office that had several other people in it. they vacated so we could do our interview i assumed. the first thing she said to me when we sat down was, "So, where are you from." i was already very pleased with the direction this was going. when i told her nashville her eyes lit up and she wanted to know what famous people i knew. it is at this point, in any conversation, that i will inevitably exclaim, "well, one time i pumped gas next to billy ray cyrus." its my most treasured claim to fame.
i made great eye contact, took notes, smiled constantly, and nodded my head alot. we had great rapport throughout the interview and it ended very abrubtly, as if time had flown by and i didn't realize it. she showed me this thing called an aviary, which is apparently a gigantic bird cage in the middle of the hallway. it looked like a trophy case, except with birds instead. they had little tree like structures to sit on and hay strewn all about. she told me "the residents just love our aviary." i wanted to burst out laughing but felt the situation didn't call for it. before i could respond the double doors burst open and a parade of seniors filed out of the activity room, where they had just watched a performance by the texas based gospel group THE HINKLES.
"i have to work here"
would i be human if that thought wAsn't the first to pop into my head?

drinking a red plum nantucket

one of my favorite things to do is go to class without showering and then shower as sOOn as i get home from class. i noticed that today because i overslept, and thus, was very much unable to clean up, as i was running and hurrying and dropping things and losing things on my way out the door.
i just got done reading through the brochure of Sundale, the facility with whom i will be interviewing in about an hour.....i'm a little bit nervous, but not nearly as much as i usually am for job interviews.
i think i'll where a tie.
i'm tired. somehow the oranges and apples and running and sit ups aren't helping my energy level anymore. what happened? i'm like the most drained person in america right now. i've got one final push to make before i get a little time off and a chance to catch my breath.
yes. i'm definitely wearing a tie.
in the meantime.............i'm just trying to stay on the cusp of joy and happiness and not being sick.

musing

so tired today.
a long and arduous 11 days ahead.
and i think i'm getting sick.

this is bad timing

unsure

i feel very alive and happy.
is it from the burritos i just made myself?
is it from wearing my favorite sweat pants?
is it froooom the rowing machine at the gym?
or could it be that i'm suited for happiness

sitting

i was thinking today, as i often do while walking to class, about life. a bus passed by me and the smell of exhaust reminded me of russia. buses always remind me of russia. its been a long time since i've thought this, but i wished i was back there. i stopped in to get a parking permit for my car but to no avail. i didn't have all the necessary documents with me, so i meandered back out onto the sidewalk. i had a couple hours before class so i went to the coffee shop. i got a bowl a cereal and a vitamin water. i decided to sit by the window because i wanted to have the sun resting on me. i sat there looking out the window for about an hour. i had my phone off and all school related things out of sight. i needed a moment to myself that didn't involve thinking and it was surprisingly refreshing. the realization hit me that i could people watch forever, i think. there were all types of people walking by the window; big ones, little ones, old ones, young ones, pierced ones, gothic ones, athletic ones, and smart looking ones (although i'm not sure what the stereotypical look is for a smart person). it was intriguing to see everybody coming and going, completely unaware of the person that occupied that space 10 seconds earlier. and there were cars constantly driving by as well. the sense that we're all apart of the same world, yet all so different overwhelmed me. there was a "strategically" placed american flag blowing in the wind at the bank across the street that made me think about russia for some reason. i haven't really taken a second to just sit and think for a long time now. it felt so peaceful and i'm glad i did it.