unsure

i feel very alive and happy.
is it from the burritos i just made myself?
is it from wearing my favorite sweat pants?
is it froooom the rowing machine at the gym?
or could it be that i'm suited for happiness

sitting

i was thinking today, as i often do while walking to class, about life. a bus passed by me and the smell of exhaust reminded me of russia. buses always remind me of russia. its been a long time since i've thought this, but i wished i was back there. i stopped in to get a parking permit for my car but to no avail. i didn't have all the necessary documents with me, so i meandered back out onto the sidewalk. i had a couple hours before class so i went to the coffee shop. i got a bowl a cereal and a vitamin water. i decided to sit by the window because i wanted to have the sun resting on me. i sat there looking out the window for about an hour. i had my phone off and all school related things out of sight. i needed a moment to myself that didn't involve thinking and it was surprisingly refreshing. the realization hit me that i could people watch forever, i think. there were all types of people walking by the window; big ones, little ones, old ones, young ones, pierced ones, gothic ones, athletic ones, and smart looking ones (although i'm not sure what the stereotypical look is for a smart person). it was intriguing to see everybody coming and going, completely unaware of the person that occupied that space 10 seconds earlier. and there were cars constantly driving by as well. the sense that we're all apart of the same world, yet all so different overwhelmed me. there was a "strategically" placed american flag blowing in the wind at the bank across the street that made me think about russia for some reason. i haven't really taken a second to just sit and think for a long time now. it felt so peaceful and i'm glad i did it.